3:30 in the morning, and today's Art of the Day couldn't be more ironic. :) Beautiful though. I love the layering and the combination of images and words. This is the kind of thing I strive to create. Sometime I'll upload one of my mixed media works.
I'm still learning to function as a single person. I'm not sure I ever learned how. Since I've been 16, the longest I've been single has been 6 months. That was over 8 years ago. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine pointed it out. So no, I really haven't learned to be a single adult.
The thing is that I'm not part of a circle that appreciates being single. Most of my friends are either married, dating seriously, or desperately seeking someone. Or was it Susan? I don't know, the point is that I don't have a model here. I do have the friend who pointed out that I haven't been single in years, but she's only been on one date in her life. I made her go, and it turned out to be a disaster. We still tell stories about it.
Am I afraid to be single? Yes. I'm young, but I'm afraid I'll end up alone. I can't spend the rest of my life alone. I do realize that it's silly to think this at 24. But even if it's an ungrounded fear, it's still a fear. It doesn't help to hear, "you have plenty of time left," because that just reminds me it could be years until I find that magical someone. Which is, come to think of it, a ridiculous idea. Who decided a person isn't complete until she attaches herself to a man?
I know the answer to that question. Gender roles and the Glass Ceiling. That's logic, baby. We can try and try, but it's still always going to be there. You can't eliminate sexism because it's born in minds. You can't police minds, and you shouldn't try to. There will always be someone who disagrees, and there should be. That's just how society works.
So if I can't change society's perception of single women, I must need to change my perception of myself as a single woman. It's who I am now. The thing is that, at the same time, I'm still me. I love the arts and the written word. People are important to me, and I am relationally based even if that is platonic. I love jeans and comfortable shoes, coffee, ethnic food and bath products. I'm addicted to iTunes and I forget to do laundry until I have to wash underwear in the sink.
I need to stop thinking of my qualities are marketable qualities. I am worth what I am worth no matter who thinks so. I am me regardless of my attachments to other people, or their perceptions of me.
I'm still learning to function as a single person. I'm not sure I ever learned how. Since I've been 16, the longest I've been single has been 6 months. That was over 8 years ago. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine pointed it out. So no, I really haven't learned to be a single adult.
The thing is that I'm not part of a circle that appreciates being single. Most of my friends are either married, dating seriously, or desperately seeking someone. Or was it Susan? I don't know, the point is that I don't have a model here. I do have the friend who pointed out that I haven't been single in years, but she's only been on one date in her life. I made her go, and it turned out to be a disaster. We still tell stories about it.
Am I afraid to be single? Yes. I'm young, but I'm afraid I'll end up alone. I can't spend the rest of my life alone. I do realize that it's silly to think this at 24. But even if it's an ungrounded fear, it's still a fear. It doesn't help to hear, "you have plenty of time left," because that just reminds me it could be years until I find that magical someone. Which is, come to think of it, a ridiculous idea. Who decided a person isn't complete until she attaches herself to a man?
I know the answer to that question. Gender roles and the Glass Ceiling. That's logic, baby. We can try and try, but it's still always going to be there. You can't eliminate sexism because it's born in minds. You can't police minds, and you shouldn't try to. There will always be someone who disagrees, and there should be. That's just how society works.
So if I can't change society's perception of single women, I must need to change my perception of myself as a single woman. It's who I am now. The thing is that, at the same time, I'm still me. I love the arts and the written word. People are important to me, and I am relationally based even if that is platonic. I love jeans and comfortable shoes, coffee, ethnic food and bath products. I'm addicted to iTunes and I forget to do laundry until I have to wash underwear in the sink.
I need to stop thinking of my qualities are marketable qualities. I am worth what I am worth no matter who thinks so. I am me regardless of my attachments to other people, or their perceptions of me.
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