breaking points

Tonight I got threatened at work. We had to call the cops and they escorted this woman off the property. This isn't the most scared I've been at work, but it's a near second. I won't go into details, but this woman was going off on another resident and I had to break it up. I wasn't hurt, but she did poke me. She lied to get into shelter anyway, so I wasn't sad to see her kicked out. She can't come back for 5 years. I hope she doesn't do anything stupid, but if she keeps treating people like this, she's bound to get beat up again.

Every fucking day the same trifling residents meddle and meddle and meddle, trying to get me to let them do things that are against the rules. Sometimes I get so sick of them that I snap and tell them, "sure, just get the hell away from me!" I know this is intermittent reinforcement and classical conditioning and all that....but a person can only take so much. It makes me so angry because I know exactly what they're trying to do. I also know that it will work. They've figured out my buttons. What the hell do I do now? I just have to wait for them to wear out their welcome and leave the shelter.

It also frustrates me when you want something really badly but you don't know how to get there. This applies to several areas of my life at the moment. Suffice it to say these are career and relational issues. I feel like I'm being pressed into a mold that doesn't fit. I need people, but the only people I see are clients. I feel so isolated and I just wish I had a close group of friends to fall back on.